Thanks For Not Burning My House Down

So I know everyone can relate to this situation I was in yesterday and I think it's safe to say that we've all had different outcomes... You know the one - you're getting ready when all of a sudden your damn phone will not quit and you realize you need to speed shit up & get out the door. Not being able to compromise the make-up routine for times sake (come on - get serious), we make up the time elsewhere - like forgetting to shut drawers or turn off lights.... or straighteners......

Yes, friends, my straightener was on for 7 hours yesterday.

The funny thing is is that I was on my way to boyfriend's house and my thought process started ticking. It always starts immediately when you get to the point in your route where you're juuuust far enough away where it's a pain in the ass to turn around. I thought "hmm.. typically I remember turning my straightener off because I have to put my fingers dangerously close to the scalding hot irons to get to the button... but I don't remember doing that." I ruled it out thinking that I was in such a rush that why in GOD'S NAME would I remember such a little ass detail.

So here's my love letter to you, Zoe (that's the brand name. don't start thinking I name my appliances). I want to first thank you for not burning my house down or melting anything on my vanity. I also want to thank you for still working since I just decided how much I love you. I think all of the idiots on makeupalley that write bad things about you are a bunch of bitches. Don't listen to them - you're better than that. Thanks for the straight hair, the little flippy thing you do, and also the subtle curls. You're a multi-tasking master. I really appreciate the fact that you still get hot after my dumbass left you on for seven hours straight. Not sucking is great, and as a matter of fact - it's your specialty. You go, Zoe. Seriously - you go.