When it comes to glitter, I'm 90% sure manufacturers need to hire a scientist to develop their sparkly product so that the glitter doesn't shed all over the place with every freaking step you take. I had a shirt like this from Victoria's Secret and it was immediately given to my cousin because I couldn't take leaving a trail of fairy dust every where I walked. It was all over my jeans, my shoes, my socks, my freaking HAIR. And I'm not sure if you know this - but glitter isn't one of those things you can just brush off. Oh no, you have to get glitter surgically removed if you never want to see it again.
Well guess what. This morning I was puttin on my makeup and I had done my foundation and blush and all and I thought "wow, my skin looks really good today!". Happiness. And then I went to put some color on the ol' eyelids (overtop of primer, mind you - so this shit had something to stick to) and I grabbed UZI by Urban Decay.
The description of this literally makes me giggle. Big Iridescent Sparkles.
::sigh:: And by the way - I'm mad that it doesn't show
the BIG IRIDESCENT SPARKLES in all their glory in this picture...
because BIG is an understatement.
I have Uzi in a palette, so thankfully I didn't purchase it solo and I hadn't really used it prior to this. I applied the product reaaaalllly carefully, because I was slightly worried about the big iridescent sparkles falling onto my cheeks and let's just say that I looked like I was going to a goddamn roller disco when I was finished sweeping the brush over my eyelid one, measly time. Tried to brush it off... wrong. Tried to sponge it off... wrong. Tried to pull it off with foundation... wrong. Tried to USE FREAKING MAKEUP REMOVER... WRONG. I was infuriated. I wanted to grab my laptop RIGHT THEN and write a bitch of a post on how much I hate glitter. But just like you don't send a hate e-mail RIGHT after being pissed off... I held off & wrote this one about.. 4 hours later. And we're not talking like.. teeny little sparkles - we're talking FLAKES of silver glitter that were totally "did she mean to do that?" inducing. Not cute.
So thanks for trying, Urban Decay. The thought of pretty sparkly eyeshadow was really fantastic, but seriously - I'd have rather had no eyeshadow on today than you forcing me to scrub my face violently with a wash cloth for 5 minutes trying to remove your studio 54 residue. I'm still considering buying your Alice In Wonderland Palette but I swear to GOD, if I get glitter all over my perfectly prepped face again - I will come down that rabbit hole and kick you. HARD.
